Monthly Archives: November 2010
Growing up, my family collected people. I guess, to be accurate, we still collect people. I was home visiting my parents last week and they had collected two young ladies who are living in their house. Both my parents have the gift of hospitality, which means that, even if you are a total stranger, you’ll be invited in for food, fellowship and my dad will probably ask you to help rake leaves while he gives you advice.
One Thanksgiving when I was younger, our “big brother” (not really related… just someone we’ve collected) brought his girlfriend over. Her contribution to the meal was this magnificent pumpkin cobbler. We’re not really sure what happened to the girlfriend, but we’ve kept her recipe and it has become a part of our family’s Thanksgiving meal.
Before you head off to cook yourself silly, answer this question: what is your favorite Thanksgiving dish?
Pre-heat oven to 350.
1 cup yellow cake mix
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup melted butter
Crumble with fingers and pat around a greased 9×12 glass pan.
1 large can pumpkin
2/3 cup milk
1/2 cup brown sugar
2 tablespoons cinnamon
pinch of salt
a few dashes each of clove, ginger, and nutmeg.
Mix together and then pour over the cake mix crumble.
1/2 cup butter
remaining cake mix
Beat together until smooth. Drop by the spoonful over the pumpkin mix.
Bake for 40-50 minutes. Excellent with whipped topping or ice cream when fresh from the oven. Also excellent chilled with a cup of coffee the morning after Thanksgiving. =)
I’m just settling back into home after a wonderfully exhausting vacation. Since I have no inspiration for my own words, I figured I’d fall back on the humor of my uncles, who sent this collection of hilarious “kids say” moments.
Why We Love Children
‘How do you know that the cat was dead?’ she asked her pupil.
‘Because I pissed in its ear and it didn’t move,’ answered the child innocently.
‘You did WHAT?’ the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
‘You know,’ explained the boy, ‘I leaned over and went ‘Pssst’ and it didn’t move’
2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later…..’Da-ad….’
‘I’m thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?’
‘No, You had your chance. Lights out’
Five minutes later: ‘Da-aaaad…..’
‘I’m THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??’
‘ I told you NO! If you ask again, I’ll have to smack you!!’
Five minutes later……’Daaaa-aaaad…..’
‘When you come in to smack me, can you bring a drink of water?’
3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him ‘How do you expect to get into Heaven?’
The boy thought it over and said, ‘Well, I’ll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, ‘For Heaven’s sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!”
4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, ‘Mummy, will you sleep with me tonight?’
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
‘I can’t dear,’ she said. ‘I have to sleep in Daddy’s room.’
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:
‘The big sissy.’
5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children’s sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the minister leaned over and said, ‘That is a very pretty dress.
Is it your Easter Dress?’ The little girl replied, directly into the minister’s clip-on
microphone, ‘Yes, and my Mum says it’s a bitch to iron.’
6. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.
She said, ‘Mummy, you are getting fat!’
I replied, ‘Yes, honey, remember Mummy has a baby growing in her tummy.’
‘I know,’ she replied, but what’s growing in your bum?’
7. A little boy was doing his maths homework.
He said to himself, ‘Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine….’
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, ‘What are you doing?’
The little boy answered, ‘I’m doing my maths homework, Mum.’
‘And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?’ the mother asked
‘Yes,’ he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, ‘What are you teaching my son in maths?’
The teacher replied, ‘Right now, we are learning addition.’
The mother asked, ‘And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?’
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, ‘What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.’
8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ‘…. and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, ‘The sky is falling, the sky is
falling!’ The teacher paused then asked the class, ‘And what do you think that
farmer said?’ One little girl raised her hand and said, ‘I think he said: ‘Holy Shit! A talking chicken!”
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, I’m Mr. Sugarbrown’s daughter.’
Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, ‘I’m Jane Sugarbrown.’
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, ‘Aren’t you Mr. Sugarbrown’s daughter?’
She replied, ‘I thought I was, but mother says I’m not.’
10. A little girl asked her mother, ‘Can I go outside and play with the boys?’ Her mother replied, ‘No, you can’t play with the boys, they’re too rough.’ The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, ‘If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?’
And after 11 hours in the car with my husband and 3 kids, I’ve got this song stuck in my head. But I prefer watching the Backyardigans sing it (sorry Rihanna). =)